Home EME'S RANTS Eme’s Rants (Episode 6): #BBNaija, On TBoss and the National Anthem.

Eme’s Rants (Episode 6): #BBNaija, On TBoss and the National Anthem.

Eme's rants

Perhaps, our biggest problem in this country is how much we celebrate and promote mediocrity. Add that to our uncanny ability to turn every matter into a joke and you need not wonder why we are and will remain a third-world country for a long while.

A Nigerian looking to represent Nigeria on the international front cannot recite the Nigerian national anthem and popular consensus believes that “It’s okay” and “It’s not her fault” because “Even an ambassadorial nominee couldn’t recite it” so “Why crucify the poor girl?”

With youths who think like this, you wonder why we have leaders who possess bogus credentials and are bent on running the country into the ground? Wonder no more. We deserve them.

Meanwhile, shall we give the beautiful lady a standing ovation? Please, roll out the drums. Sound the trumpets. Let’s have a ball in her honor.

Don’t forget to support her with your votes so she can take home the well-deserved millions. And pray that, tomorrow, when she’s asked who is the current senate president, she won’t say “Last I checked, it was Dolly Parton”.

Oh, guess who’ll come out to roast her? The same lot who voted for her. Go ahead and add nauseating hypocrisy to our list of problems.

The kids I work with would laugh in derision.

I remember being asked to recite the second stanza of the anthem during my service year. When I did, I was awarded applause and hearty cheers.
“Ah. This one attend private nursery school na. Me wey never even master the first verse. Well done o”, one of the excited guys piped.

To say I was irritated would be an understatement. A bunch of graduates, from “prestigious higher institutions of learning” (as we like to claim) thought that reciting the national anthem was a special skill that required special tutelage.

Once again, I know five-year olds who would laugh.

Contrary to what those of you obviously plagued with inferiority complex think, the national anthem is not a test of intelligence or classroom skill.

You are taught those lines from nursery school. Made to recite them all through primary and secondary. Radio and TV stations play them, everyday. It’s on the back of numerous exercise books. If you missed a line and cared, one click on Google could remedy that.

Find a better excuse or bow your head in shame. Then find another way to identify with your country other than your prowess on Twitter #NigeriaVsKenya Jollof Rice Wars.

We learn everyday but there’s nothing cute about wilful ignorance.

And please, not “everyone criticizing the queen cannot recite the anthem”. Spare me the offensive generalization. Not all of us wait till we shit ourselves in public before we go from “Who Anthem epp” to “Ah-rai-zoh-compashun”. And I’m not half as patriotic as most of you. Rubbish.

Mfon Emerald Michael is a graduate of Linguistics who's yet to figure out what to do with that degree. She loves to surf, skydive and take fancy vacations - all in her dreams, of course. In reality, when she's not trying to start virtual wildfires, she scribbles down her thoughts on love, life and the coming Alien Invasion.