Home ENWONGO'S POINT OF VIEW Enwongo’s Point of View (Episode 10): It’s Okay to Break the Friendship

Enwongo’s Point of View (Episode 10): It’s Okay to Break the Friendship

Enwongo Cleopas

We live in an age where we feel guilty whenever we have to cut someone off, but the reality is that SOME relationships do really need to die.

Some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended.

We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy.

Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to.

We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings.

Having a conversation with a friend and she asks about a ‘friend’ who told her I unfriended him on Facebook.

I tell her I can’t be friends with everyone, which is tru, especially when the other is set on disrespecting my person.

Offline, I don’t remain nice or friends with people who despise and disrespect me.

It is an act of self care and self preservation.

She tells me it’s not fair and asks that I block him so our paths don’t cross here at all but I tell her my block list is empty.

I simply use the unfriend button. I’m not going to pile people in any space. I’ll just let you go.

Social media is as real as everything else out there. It is a mirror of our lives offline, some carefully curated, others just as it is, all in all it is real.

We cannot be friends with everyone. We are not mandated to keep everyone in our lives.

People guard their spaces for various reasons even for reasons that may come across as flimsy.

Sometimes we outgrow the people we’ve always known. Sometimes they outgrow us.

Sometimes, our values change as we grow and when that happens, it creates discomfort for the people we’ve always known you.

Other times, you just begin to unlearn abusive/oppressive socialisation and the people who encourage such. It is simply life.

Hanging onto dead or poisonous weight out of guilt is unhealthy, for you and the other person.
You’re not obliged to keep company with everyone.

Yet there is another side to this…